What do you want your life to look like?

I read a quote on Facebook in the past few weeks and it fits well with today's post.

photo credit: www.happywivesclub.com

One of the things I love about New Year's Day is that it symbolizes a fresh start.  Whether last year was your best year ever or one you would rather not repeat, a fresh start is a good thing.  And, a fresh start is the best time to think about goals for your life- for this week, for this year and for your future.

The Bible tells us that planning ahead is a good thing as long as we understand that God is ultimately in control.

"We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.  It pays to take life seriously." Proverbs 16:9

This week, we have talked about general concepts to focus on in the year ahead. Now, let's talk about how to develop specific goals related to your life and your circumstances.

The first step is knowing where you want to go in life.  Your goals may be about different parts of your life- education, parenting, relationships.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What kind of home do you want your kids to grow up in and what can you do to create it?
• What would you do if you could do anything?
• What did you want to be when you were a little girl?
• What are the three things you want to change most about your current situation?

Use your answers to the questions above to set your destination {where you want to be in 1 yr, 5 yrs, etc} and then develop SMART goals to help you get there.  SMART is an acronym.
It stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Framed. {We will talk about SMART goals tomorrow}

This year, my focus {similar to the 5 resolutions I encouraged you to make} is on staying healthy, spending lots of time with my family, working toward my career and ministry goals and sharing God's love with others. My goals are to lose 15 lbs before my anniversary {which is in July}, to decide on a master's degree program and apply for it and to help my 3 year old granddaughter and 16 year old son adjust to having a newborn {my daughter is having her baby in February} in the house.
Do you see the difference between focus and goals?  They go hand in hand as they both have to do with your values and your desires.  Focus helps you narrow down what you want to achieve and goals tell you what it will look like when you get there.

Time goes by whether we are intentional about how we want to live our lives or not.  Your kids will get older, you will get older no matter what.  The choice of whether your life will turn out the way you want it to is largely up to you.  When you have a plan and goals for your life, it makes it easier to get back on track when hard times come your way. 

Are you a planner or do you tend to let life just happen?

Till tomorrow,
Melissa

A Bucket List for the New Year

Have you made a bucket list? I haven't but I think it's a neat idea.  The Bible tells us that having plans is a good thing. 

Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind. Proverbs 21:5

When I was writing yesterday's post, I thought of several things that could be considered New Years resolutions, some serious, some silly.  Since we already established I'm not a big fan of those, I thought we could call them a bucket list for 2014.  Read what I came up with and let me know in the comments if you would add anything.

• Paint your nails as soon as the paint starts to chip.
• Don't sweat the small stuff.
• Set aside spare change and save for a mama's day out or a family getaway day.
• Don't wear pajamas to Walmart.
• Remember that Twitter, Instagram and Facebook can't replace real life experiences.
• Give your kids a bed time and stick to it.
• Always have toilet paper on hand.
• Drink more water.
• Don't text and drive.
• Stop beating yourself up- just move forward.
• Get enough sleep.
• Step out of your comfort zone every chance you get.
• Start a journal.
• Eat breakfast every day.
• Read a book every month.

What would you add to this list?

And speaking of Twitter, etc. I wanted to let you know where else you can find me.  Click on the link of each site {I included my instagram username too} and you will be taken to my profile.

Twitter
Facebook
Pinterest
Instagram- MelissaSmallwood

Till tomorrow,
Melissa

5 New Years Resolutions for Teen Moms

Alright, ladies! Today we are diving into 365 days of devotions written just for you.  Is anyone else excited that it is a brand new year?

Perhaps 2013 was a tough one for you. I've had those years.  Years where it felt like nothing went the way I planned or the way I thought it should go.  When those years were coming to a close, the countdown to midnight on New Years Eve was filled with even more anticipation than usual.

Our verse for today is from Deuteronomy 7:13. I love this verse because it talks about what God wants to do for us, because He loves us:

He will love you, He will bless you, He will increase you.

I'm not big on New Years resolutions. Don't get me wrong though! I think setting goals is very important {we will talk more about that on the 3rd}. But, going all in on January 1st to lose weight or stop smoking can be setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.  Today, instead of specific things for you to accomplish in 2014, I am going to share 5 general concepts I hope you will focus on in the coming year and beyond.

1. Enjoy your child right now!! When my boys were babies, I was overwhelmed, exhausted and had a bad bout of postpartum depression (having two babies in 15 months will do that to a girl).  They were the cutest, sweetest babies in the world and I didn't take the time to enjoy them. It is one thing I regret. You don't get those moments back so make sure you cherish each one.
2. Make your health a priority- your physical, emotional and spiritual health!  Do you need to make healthier food choices? Don't we all?  Do you need to let go of a grudge or exercise more patience? Don't we all? Do you need to go to church or blow the dust off your Bible?  Don't we all?  A new year is the perfect time for a fresh start. Make 2014 your healthy year.
3. Don't get distracted.  We are going to talk a lot about things that can knock us off the train tracks of life.  A break-up, failing your college mid terms, getting fired from a job, nasty comments about your situation from someone you look up to and I could go on and on.  It is crucial that you don't let temporary set backs distract you from your ultimate goal- being the best mom you can be. 
4. Cut yourself some slack.  I'm my own worst enemy and becoming a young mom didn't help me in that regard. I expected perfection from myself and when I fell short of my own expectations, I felt useless and sometimes even thought my kids would have been better off born to another mom.  Ugh! It stinks to feel that way and, more importantly, it's a waste of time and energy.  If you burn dinner, shrink your work shirt in the dryer, don't make homemade goodies for the preschool Valentine party or forget to call your sister on her birthday- IT'S OKAY!!! You have a lot on your plate and you will for the next 18 years. Now is a great time to start cutting yourself some slack.
5. Learn as much as possible about your child.  Kids don't come with an instruction manual but we do live in the Google age.  Read as much as you can about child development- how their brains work, what to expect at their age and stage, etc.  Study your child to learn what motivates them, what makes them smile, what makes them sad.  Not only will this deepen your bond with your child but it will help you in the years to come. The better you know your child, the easier they are to parent.

Ok, that completes my list of things to focus on in 2014.  I would love to hear your New Years resolutions in the comments, if you have made any.  Let's cheer each other on!

Till tomorrow,
Melissa